Promiscuity is a “promised skewed”. Five years into my Christian walk, delving deeper into the word of God, I felt the Lord speak this into my spirit one day in prayer. He was bringing me into a deeper revelation of Christ, but also the misconception we, humans, are in complete control over our lives.
We all have been tempted one way or another. If you have the knowledge or have grown up in the church, the ways of the Lord should have been instilled from a young age. Sadly, only 4% of today’s youth who know Jesus Christ as their Savior, stay with the faith. The world is enticing, lust is tantalizing and pleasure is luring. Our finite minds, our narcissistic brains are truly deceived in believing we can “handle” all things. Just a little bite we may say, just a little flirt, just a quick hit and never once do we imagine that “little” turning into a full blown raging temptation and stronghold.
Marriages are failing. There is a world wide epidemic which spreads and festers like the bubonic plague killing everything it touches. I have heard many say the bible is antiqued, old, for a culture that no longer exists and the church has to “evolve”. Sorrowfully, the church is evolving by adapting to the ever changing philosophies of the world. My sister in Christ, the bible is as relevant today as it was thousands of years ago and do you know why? Human nature has not changed. We are still tempted, we still fall and we still seek the desires which please our own sinful nature because “that is what makes us feel good”. Well, just because it makes you “feel good” does not mean it is right.
Christians are to be foreigners in this world, living a godly life, but not adapting to the world’s disasters way. With technology at our fingertips, adultery and sexual sin can be easily accessible to any age with the ability to search the web. If our bodies respond to the sight of a man scantily clothed, if our minds lust and continue with “vain imaginations” desiring fifty shades of male satisfaction and if we long for movies portraying ridiculous damsels in distress, saved by knowledgeable hands to please, we are falling into the enemy’s lair.
Jesus declares the eyes are the lamp of the body, if what we put into our body is dark, then how dark it truly is (Matthew 6:22-23). If we open those temptations, that crack in the door can swing wide open for “game on”. My children have never watched movies, videos or have been encouraged to watch television with half dressed people. Tommy and I choose not to awaken desires a young mind can not handle or know what to do with the exposure. As adults, we hardly should be the “good Samaritan” encouraging young children to “explore” when our own lives spiral out of control.
At a young age, I was exposed to pornography, magazines, movies, television and pictures regarding sexual images. My family, of course, did not encourage this behavior, but there was something in my flesh that wanted to see. I did not realize the false impressions those images would lead to. Looking at women, thinking I did not measure up to their beauty, I had a low self esteem. Today, I know I am a child of the Most High, formed and molded into the image He decided. Looking at those images, I had a skewed interpretation of what a marriage, sex and intimacy truly was. I had no idea the purity, innocence and love that God had in mind for marriage ever existed. It would take the Lord eight years to teach me His love, how I am to love and the difference the Christian faith is to have on the world.
The adulterous woman mentioned in the Gospel of John was caught in infidelity, ironically, the man was not mentioned. Using this woman, her infidelity as a ploy, the “religious” sector apparently had knowledge of this rapport, but chose to look the other way. This scheming did not deceive Jesus. “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” (John 8:4-5). Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” (John 8:6-8).
This situation always reminds me of the shepherd boy who defeated the giant. Listening to the taunts of a certain arrogant Philistine, David obediently follows the prompting of the Lord to fight this Goliath. Did you catch the sentence above, “When they kept on questioning him…?” The Pharisees thought they had Jesus cornered and condescendingly continue to question Christ as did Goliath believe he had trumped God’s people forgetting but one small, minor detail, “If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31).
As David quickly ran to the battle, Jesus did not walk away bewildered, befuddled as if asking, “What do I do?” He stooped to the ground, prayed, asking God for the answer, just as the shepherd boy stooped to the ground gathering five stones praying for the courage only God can give. David yelled to the Philistine, “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied.” (1 Samuel 17:45) David slung the stone trouncing the giant as did Jesus when he stood up and mockingly said, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” (John 8:6-8).
The forgiveness of God is precious. His grace, his mercy and his love for those who are his children is abounding, although we are to never take it for granted. If sexual sin is a temptation for you, if there is a man who your heart lusts after, whether at work, in church, a friend or a television personality, you are commanded to master it! God told Cain, “Why are you so angry, why are you so downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it.” (Genesis 4:6-7). God told Cain this before he sinned. We read his Word today, the Bible, with its intuitive promises for our habitual sin; he has given us the ability to “master” it before the sin desires to have us.
When you dangle the carrot, when your flesh opens the door with just one pornographic movie, when your shirt is just a little too low for enticing or when you purposing find yourself strategically planning to tempt another Christian man to fall, the crouching becomes entangling, and the entangling becomes a reality. My honesty in prayer with the Lord has strengthened me for the encroachment of sin. My flesh may respond to a sexual sin, a look from the opposite sex or feeling of “I still got it” from a flirtatious remark, but in the end, that small spark will ignite devastation to your marriage, your family and maybe your soul.
When tempted to watch a movie I know is enticing, when I have seen the look of attraction from a man and my flesh jumps in response to think vain thoughts, I respond with the Word of God. The Apostle Paul wrote a master piece when he penned the book of Ephesians, the weapons of our warfare and who sin actually is following. Ephesians 2:1-7 reads, “As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God who is rich in mercy, made us a live with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions, it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Chris Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.”
What a powerful message. If we are saved by the Blood of the Lamb, we are no longer conforming to the “ruler of the kingdom of the air”. Ironically, how do we get much of our “sinful” information? Technology is an amazing, life changing invention, but the air waves are clouded with entrapments and diversions to keep you chained and in bondage. But if we set our minds on things above, seated in the heavenly realms, we have already defeated our stronghold.
I want to encourage you my sister in Christ, the temptations are real. It may be as simple as responding yes to a Facebook request of an old boyfriend, fiancé or flame. You can handle it right? Oh, look at those pictures, isn’t his family cute. I’ll just message him, tell him I much I love those pictures and what I’ve been up to. Woman, fight that urge to open that door a crack. There is a reason you are not with a particular person, but given to your husband in matrimony.
The temptation may come during a difficult time in your marriage. The work, the kids, the pressures can be draining and exhausting. You may confess your fatigue to a pastor, friend or male co worker as innocently as answering the question, “How are you?” The conversation begins, noticing similar patterns in the marriage, similar problems, why not pray and talk over coffee during lunch. There you have it; an open door to the probability of temptation. Your intentions may be of complete innocence, but if your male counterpart shows more attention to you, captivatingly listening and you to him, your thoughts towards attraction and not your family, here begins a dangerous problem.
I believe women are to pray with women. I believe women should confess their problems, concerns and trials to other godly, deaconesses or women of the church. Do not open the door for the devil’s foothold. Pray for a trusted prayer warrior to stand in the gap with you and your marriage. God gave me Cathie to pray, fast and confess with. Although she lives in Texas and I in Florida, although we have the Gulf of Mexico between us and communicate via phone, we pray continuously, talk and confess our temptations to one another. She is an accountability partner and I to her. God will give you this person if you already do not have one.
I encourage you to fight for your marriage, turn OFF the television, spend time together and reconnect. If you find yourself thinking of another man, then pray and ask the Lord for answers. Why are you thinking of him? What does that man offer you husband does not? Is it just physical or does the tempter fill a void emotionally your spouse does not? Once you have your answer, begin armoring yourself with the Lord’s protective covering, maybe fast a meal a day until you have victory over your thoughts and mind and prayerfully ask God for a godly prayer warrior, who will confidently pray for you.
Tommy and I both understand the temptations of this world. We both have been tempted while married, we both confessed our hearts to one another and we both keep each other in prayer. I am not naive for I know my weaknesses and attempt to stay on the offensive before the attacks come. I have only a few male friends on social media sites, I will never disclose my most difficult temptations while alone with a male pastor or friend, nor do I even like being alone in the same room with another man. I have trusted male friends I do feel comfortable with and I know these men, have prayed with most, but I also know the enemy. I feel more comfortable with Tommy as my covering, standing side by side with me and if a man needs prayer, I direct him toward godly men.
Sweet sister, the Word of God is alive, full of hope, power and direction. You can stop these thoughts and temptations, renew your mind in Christ Jesus, and transform into the Christian woman Christ knows you can be. God is no respecter of persons and offers the same promises to you as I have. Believe and stand in the Blood of the Lamb, offer your prayers with pure motive and lay your temptations at the cross!
Let us pray and CONFESS the Word of the Living God:
Forgive me Lord, for I have sinned. My heart and my mind have lusted, my flesh has fallen and I need the power of our resurrected Christ to mend my spirit. I understand the struggle plaguing the Apostle Paul as he wrote “the fleshly war” doing the very things my spirit does not want to do, for it is sin living in me that does it. (Romans 7:18-19). Please teach me your ways, help me fight when I feel tempted by the enemy for I know Father, you do not tempt me with evil (James 1:13) I pray to confess scripture and declare as Jesus, “it is written” for I desire to think on things above while the enemy lusts for the things of this earth (Mark 8:33).
I pray my mind is receptive, alert and guarded with the weapons of our warfare (Ephesians 6:10-18): the helmet of salvation to guard my mind and thought, the breastplate of righteousness to cover my heart from the flaming arrows of the enemy. The shoes of peace for when my mind and flesh begin to wonder or think upon these worldly things, I pray to purposefully spread the gospel, walk or run to the need of others and determined to be a blessing to get my mind off of myself.
May I put on the belt of truth, for following Jesus, I have determined to prepare my heart for action, keeping my mind on things above seated at the right hand of the Father and remove what is unclean from my heart for Jesus said, “What comes out of a man is what makes him unclean. For from within, out of men’s hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and make a man unclean.” (Mark 7:20-23). Give me the strength through all things, helping me turn off the world. When I feel the pull to sin, may I be a woman of God, using the word of God as a double edge sword of the spirit rebuking all lies, manipulation, confusing and vain imaginations from the enemy. I pray my shield of faith never be dry, quenching the fiery darts of the adversary.
I believe I am a new creation in Christ, the old has passed and the new spills forth as a sweet offering before my God (2 Corinthians 5:17). Lord you know my heart, the things I am going to say, do and think before I put into action (Psalm 139). I desire Christ in my inner most being (Psalm 51:6). But, when my desire to sin with “sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery, idolatry and witchcraft, hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies and the like” (Galatians 5: 19-21), I will confess to be more than a conqueror to this world and repent from following the ways of the “kingdom of the ruler of the air” (Ephesians 2:1-7). Help me to think on what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely and admirable (Philippians 4:8), filled with the fruits of the spirit with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control (Galatians 5:22-23). I know the enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy, but Christ came that I might have life and live it to the fullest (John 10:10). I know all things work together for those who love him and called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28) and if I humble myself before the Lord, he will lift me up and give me honor (James 4:10). If the enemy tempts with sexual sin, alcohol, drugs, laziness, thieving, hatred, bitterness, rage or manipulation, give me the spirit of a warrior and declare, “The Lord is with you, mighty warrior of God” (Judges 6:12).
Help me fall in love with Jesus Christ more and more. Help me be as Mary, anointing Christ with my temptation and struggles for only He can renew a broken heart. I pray His hand of favor touches my mind to rebuke all ungodly thoughts knowing this too shall pass for it is the flesh desiring to be fulfilled. I know this desire for a drink, this desire for a drug, this desire for bodily pleasure from adulterous thoughts or sex, this desire to gluttonously consume more that I should and this desire for unbridled anger for well deserved retaliation is not the portrait or imagine of Christ. My spirit’s desire is to follow you more than the body’s desire for pleasure; show me how to turn off my mind, the television, the computer or electronics when world gratification flashes continually before me. If I am tempted by men, give me the strength to turn my head when faced with enticement, to turn off the television, movies or computer when lured to watch and be distracted from my husband. I know we are held to a higher standard than the world for Jesus said, “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a man lustfully has already committed adultery with him in her heart.” (Matthew 5:28). If I am tempted by alcohol, drugs or any other addiction, give me the strength to stay far away from where I know it will be.
I believe I am forgiven. If I have backslidden, then I will use my testimony to teach others the repercussions, the power to fight this spiritual battle in the heavenlies and the love of Christ who knows all of our temptations. Praise God for the cross, praise God for the strength in Christ Jesus and I praise you Lord for your forgiveness and being ever so patient, gently leading me to the purpose declared for my life. In the name of Jesus Christ I pray, Amen.