A simple question is asked, “A wife of noble character who can find?” Let us ask the question again, this time OUT loud and slower, “A wife of noble character who can find?” What if we ask two questions of our own? Can my husband call me a wife of noble character? Could I call myself a wife of noble character?
We are going to look at Proverbs 31 and see how we measure up today to this biblical wife of noble character. If we look at the twenty-two verses which encompass this woman, could we honestly compare ourselves to this noble wife? Let’s see.
Webster’s Dictionary defines noble to describe the character of a person who is “having, showing, or coming from personal qualities that people admire (such as honesty, generosity, courage, etc.)” (Merriam-webster.com). “Character is defined as the way someone thinks, feels, and behaves. (Merriam-webster.com). I think we should put those two words together: noble character or a person who thinks, feels and behaves with such honesty, generosity, and courage that other persons admire them. This Proverb’s woman was admired by her husband, children, community and God.
Far more precious than rubies or any other gem stone, a husband would rather adorn himself with this woman than any lavish, brilliant colored stone. This woman far outshines any diamond in the rough, for her husband lacks nothing and has full confidence in her bringing him good and not harm all the day of his life. When Tommy walks out our front door, I want him to be full of confidence in my ability to manage the children, the house, my work, my relationship with Christ and any other task I need to accomplish that day. Confident I can teach our children, manage the house including laundry, bills, dishes, pantry stocked and chores done, I desire for my husband to lack no good thing, but sadly, it wasn’t always like that.
I did have a life before Christ. I lived twenty-eight years in the world of selfishness, covetness, slothfulness and lacked confidence in my own self. I had someone watch my children for three hours everyday to get the well deserved “break” I needed. I had someone clean my house for my once a week, we went out to dinner several times a week and I just really wanted to do what I wanted to do. Tommy graciously supplied all of those things because I was having some problems. After Maddie I went through a post partum depression, but had no idea that was what was wrong with me. I thought I just couldn’t handle children and family life. On the outside, I could fool anyone, but at home behind closed doors, I was truly a mess. A wife of noble character I was not.
When Christ called me back to Him in 2005, I surrendered all. I had a vision of the Lord in January of 2005 while in the midst of a depression. I had cut my hair off to about an inch all over, was 30 lbs over weight from pregnancies, my emotions were OUT of control from laughing to crying hysterically or throwing things in a selfish rage. But, for the next decade, I was determined to learn the Christian life. I fell madly in love with Yeshua and His love for me. I purposely desired to be this Proverbs 31 woman who had the confidence of her husband, but more importantly the confidence of Jesus who gave me my family to cherish and treasure. Once I was able to serve instead of self serve, becoming this woman became easier.
For the last ten years, I have spent time in prayer, reading the Word of the living God, gleaning from other women teachers and seeking to change. Determined to bring Tommy good and not harm, praying he lack no good thing, God began to change and mold me into this wife of noble character. There were days I wanted to quit when I saw and felt no change, but the overwhelming pull of Christ’s strength pushed me forward. It was small steps that brought lasting changes to my goal. The prophet Zechariah penned it the best, “Do not despise the days of small beginnings” Zechariah 4:10. A wife of noble character works with eager hands to select wool and flax, bringing food from afar, providing for her family and portions to her servant girls. She makes linen garments and sells them and supplies the merchant sashes. A noble wife plans her meals, giving to those in her household, working hard for her family, searching for the best prices and making the most of her time and money. She uses the family’s finances wisely, reinvesting her earnings and making more. Her trading is profitable and her lamp does not go out at night for she considers what she buys, planning her schedule to best fit the family. Today we may say she coupons, shops sale items, searches the internet for the best price before purchasing and considers the value of the purchased product. A noble wife considers whether she can afford an item instead of purchasing on credit cards, considers the importance of use, and the value all the family can have with an item. This wife works hard and her arms are not only strong for the task, but gentle enough to open them to the poor. A noble woman finds time to exercise and give to those who are in need. Some time during her day, week or month, she gives to the poor and blesses those less fortunate. As we progress with this woman of noble character, we see there is little time for television, computer, ipad, twitter, face booking and the like. This woman did not have those distractions, and they are distractions, to keep her from the things of God. It is a choice you will have to make. It is a choice to get of the couch, turn the television off and decide to be this wife of noble character. Will you make that choice? Continuing, when it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes covering for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. This wife is prepared. She has enough self-control to prepare for the upcoming change of season or we could say today, I’m financially prepared for six month if I loose my job. My kids would be fed, clothed, the house would run properly, trusting God to provide work and looking as if have no problems in the world. Several scriptures come to mind as I write this. In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus teaches from the mount, “Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” (Matthew 6:25-27).
I believe the Proverbs 31 woman does not worry about what will come. She is prepared and she knows God will provide all the time. This wife doesn’t need to go around head hanging low, depressed and sad about a sudden misfortune, but she straightens up, head held high saying, “I am a daughter of the Most High! He knows exactly what I need.” She has faith in being sure of what she hopes for and certain of what she can not see (Hebrews 11:1).
Her husband is respected at the city gate where he takes his seat among the elders of the land and she speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her. This family appreciates the Word of God, has His favor and blessings. How do I know? This noble wife’s husband was an elder, respected for his opinion and wisdom. She too was sought after for godly advice and counsel. She always had something good and profitable to say, encouraging others and training those in the way they should go. I pray people seek you out for your reputation of a godly Christian woman, who always has something nice, encouraging, and wise to say. Yes….a noble wife who can find??
I’ve met many women, most in the church who I would no more confide in than a man and the moon. Isn’t that sad? Isn’t that an oxymoron? We are to confide, pray, teach, admonish, encourage, and seek wise counsel, but at times we find jealousy, backstabbing, gossiping and lies. I knew who I could trust when I needed counsel and advice. I knew who would not divulge my secret for “prayer purposes”. How does your reputation precede you? Are you praised for being a godly Christian woman?
I like verses 29-31, “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.” Jesus said it perfectly, “No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. Each tree is recognized by its own fruit.” (Luke 6:43-44).
This woman is a Christian woman who has her life in order, together and revered for her character qualities. Nicole, you may say, I have no idea where to start becoming this wife of noble character. Well, I would start in baby steps. You start by asking God for the strength in Jesus Christ, you start by prayer, you start by learning from other women and you start by reading the Word of God. Over the years, I have learned from other women, the Bible and the Lord showing me what makes my house run efficiently. I have listed a couple of pages of insights in to my own house and how I managed. This is by no means an exhaustive list, but ideas to help you in which have saved me time and energy:
v Get up early. I was the first up every morning. I knew how long it took for everyone to move about comfortably before it was time to go with no rushing. One hour before we left for school, everyone was up with breakfast, teeth, hygiene, backpacks, lunches, soccer clothes, etc. Those extra minutes started our days off right
v Memorize a scripture a day. By the end of the year, you could have 365 scripture verses memorized to pray with and bless someone who needs to hear God’s word!
v Look for someone to bless. If you have toll booths, by the person behind you their toll. Leave cookies in your mail for your mail carrier. Take some desserts to your military recruiter offices and bless those in service to the country, take the same to your police and fire stations! Visit your local nursing home once a week. These were all things I did with my children for years.
v Lay out food for dinner to thaw first thing in the morning.
v Deep clean a room a day, while whipping down bathrooms and counters.
v One load of laundry, dishes out of dishwasher started in the morning.
v Mondays, I do my grocery shopping for the week, which means I have planned out what we are having on the weekend.
v If you work, get up a few minutes early, put a load of laundry in and when you get home, put in the dryer. You can have one load of laundry done a day.
v If you work, get up a few minutes early, clean one room. If you deep clean, 15 minutes is all you need.
v Clean kitchen sink the night before. It’s not pleasant looking at smelly dishes and hard food first thing in the morning.
v If you have older children, get them doing chores and follow thru with them helping and working around the house.
v More work can get done if the television is OFF, phones are down and house is quiet. Take this time to focus on memorizing scriptures and praying to God.
v There are great websites for planning menus, organizing your house or cleaning schedules. Print them, place them where they are visible and follow through with them!
v Cut coupons and plan how much you are going to spend at the grocery store, and get your children involved. Kids will appreciate dinner time, preparation, shopping and cooking if you let them use their hands. Not only will they like to cook, but they will KNOW HOW!
v Search a few minutes on the internet for your grocery stores sales items. Our store here has a website and lists their buy one get ones each week. Plan your dinner meals around those items. If barbeque sauce is on sale for BOGO, then grab two, four or how ever many and find a good BBQ dinner recipe.
v I have learned the best time to shop, for me, is the morning before the crowds. Get up and go! If you have babies and small children, schedule shopping and outings before nap time with plenty of snacks and small toys to play with. Your life WILL be easier!
v Print chore charts for kids Monday –Saturday. Have them mark each chore when finished. Yes, they should get some reward.
v Find ways to bless your husband – make his favorite meal, have his clothes ironed or pressed ready to wear. Send him a text telling him something nice, encourage him when he’s home, spend time watching a ball game with him. Pray over him if he allows you to, wear something he likes to see you out in. Cut or color your hair the way he likes it, he’s the one who has to look at it! Show him affection every time that you can and let him see his wife in all your nakedness. If Tommy is full of seeing me when ever he wants, he doesn’t have that need to look else where or is able turn his head when unclothed women are around.
v Teach your children the ways of the Lord. Saturate their life with God; you will saturate their life with something, either God or this world. My children went to church twice a week, a Christian school, prayed and had Christian music on all night long. They were not able to go to sleep if the “Jesus music” wasn’t on. These are the beginnings of molding and shaping young lives to desire the things of God. Have prayer time and make yourself available to them to talk.
v Eat dinner together and pray at the table whether you are out to dinner or at home. The children will see your faithfulness in public and behind closed doors.
v Follow through with discipline.
v Stay of internet and television as much as you can.
v Get involved in your church.
v Pay off credit cards.
v Do as much as you can the night before school, work or events. You will be so thankful the next day. Lay out clothes, pack lunches, backpacks ready, suitcases packed, etc. There will be no rushing and frustration in the morning.
v .Do not eat too much junk! Clouds the mind.
v Take a walk with fresh air, thank God you can see, hear and have the ability to move around.
v Thank the Lord for everything!
v If you do not have anything nice to stay, DO NOT SAY IT! I have said things that were unkind and backfired on me. People’s feelings were hurt and I felt terrible. Stop gossiping and read the book of James. Mediate on that for a month.
v Read the Bible every day.
v Rest, get sleep!
v Wear clothes that cover you.
Christian, these are just a few things that I implemented during those years I prayed and asked God to mold me. These are small things you can start now to begin becoming this wife of noble character. I pray you give this area of your life to Christ. You will never regret a one day of it.
My sister in Christ, let’s lay our hearts at the cross. Let us kneel before Christ as Mary of Bethany, anointing our Savior with a sweet prayer, offering ourselves as noble wives. Let us ask Yeshua to strengthen us to be these women of faith, giving us the grace to accomplish all tasks through Him and the power of His resurrection.
Pray OUT loud and CONFESS the Word of God
I give you thanks this day that I can come before you as your daughter asking to become better. I want to break the alabaster jar over any area of my life that is hindering me from becoming a Proverbs 31 woman (Mark 14:3, John 12:3). Quicken my spirit as to any area where the scales have blinded me from seeing the truth (Acts 9:18). Father, if I need to forgive my husband, show me how to love him again (Matthew 5:14). If I am holding bitterness, show me how to let go (Ephesians 4:31). If I have become lazy and demand my own way, strength me to diligently work hard and be self controlled enough, to love my family enough, and to love you enough making it a priority (Galatians 5:22-25) .
If I have never been taught how to be this noble wife, I pray for godly women counselors and elders I can learn from. I pray I can observe my sisters in Christ and learn the ways of the Lord. Help me to read and memorize scripture daily, putting you first in every area of my life. Help me to put off my old self and cloth myself with Jesus Christ, knowing I can accomplish all things through him who gives me strength (Luke 5:36-38).
May I be a woman who thinks ahead, prepares for the future and my children (Colossians 3:23-24). My I leave them not only a financial inheritance, but a spiritual one as well. I pray to teach them the ways of the Lord and when they are old, they will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6). May I be a wise woman, able to give a word when needed for counsel and encouragement (Ephesians 5:19-20). I pray my reputation be full of grace, and not worldly gossip, slander or selfishness (Ephesians 4:29).
I pray that I am able to give of myself to your service and those who are in need. Help me to teach my children to love those who can not take care of themselves. I pray they watch as I lead by example in all biblical wisdom, hard work, and generosity (Colossians 1:10-12). May my children respect and love their mother, who especially my daughter, can learn from and my boys seek another noble wife of excellent character (Ephesians 5:1).Lord, I pray my marriage is glorifying to you. May my husband be able to call me a noble wife, one who he loves and cherishes; one who he is proud of and has full confidence in. I praise you Lord and the glory to your name. I ask this prayer in the name of Jesus of Nazareth I pray, Amen.