A murder has been committed.
Blood seeps into the ground, calling out to the Maker of Heaven and
Earth for redemption, vindication. A
failed attempt in masquerading, a man walks away unhinged and calm, leaving the
body for scavengers. In a moment full of
rage, jealousy and envy, sweat drips of Cain’s forehead as he saunters away
feeling drained, hungry and emotionless. Little does he know, his own life is
about to change drastically.
“Then the
Lord said to Cain, ‘Where is your brother Abel?’
‘I do not
know,’ he replied, ‘Am I my brother’s keeper?’
The Lord
said, ‘What have you done? Listen! Your brother’s blood cries out to me from
the ground. Now you are under a curse
and driven from the ground, which opened its mouth to receive your brother’s
blood from your hand. When you work the
ground, it will no longer yield its crops for you. You will be a restless wanderer on the
earth.’
Cain said
to the Lord; my punishment is more than I can bear. Today you are driving me from the land, and I
will be hidden from your presence; I will be a restless wanderer on the earth,
and whoever finds me will kill me.’
But the Lord said to him, ‘Not so;
if anyone kills Cain, he will suffer vengeance seven times over.’ Then the Lord
put a mark on Cain so that no one who found him will kill him. So Cain went from the Lord’s presence and
lived in Nod, east of Eden.
Cain lay with his wife, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Enoch.” (Genesis 4:9-17)
I read this
Scripture from the bible and a few things pass my through my mind. First, I am astonished as Cain’s brazen
attitude and flippant respond to God, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” (Genesis 4:9). Second, Cain seems to have no remorse for his
actions, but is only concerned now with wandering from the Lord’s presence and
he himself come under attack from others.
Finally, Cain had a wife whom had to be banished with him, walk the
gauntlet of shame, work tirelessly building for the ground would not flourish
under her hand either and stand beside a “marked” man. We know nothing of this woman accept she was
there, was “punished” alongside Cain, born his children and helped built the
city of Enoch. But there are a few things we can deduce from
Scripture and this walk of shame.
I know many
women who have experienced shame from their husband’s actions. The actions of a married man, who has
committed a crime, convicted, and spending years behind bars of iron bringing
shame, embarrassment and rejections to his wife and family. The actions of a married man, who has
presumptuously carried on an affair, deceptively believing he will not be
brought to justice, now faces the cold hard truth of divorce, separation from
family, while the wife experiencing rejection and shame of others knowing and
not telling her. She cries as her heart
breaks seeking the healing touch of Jesus Christ, for it is only his hand that
could gently restore something so fragile and delicate as a woman’s shattered
heart.
The actions
of a married man whose heart covets, seethes with jealousy and worldly
possessions, will stop at nothing, climbing the corporate ladder of
success. A woman is now embarrassed by
her husband’s shameful calloused actions, experiencing foreclosure, bankruptcy,
loss of possessions and a life once full of promise because of erratic
spending, uncouth and questionable financial investments, and disgraceful
actions against fellow employees for his own destructive gain.
Cursed,
rejected, and forced to leave, Cain’s wife, walks beside a man, full of mixed emotion. A gamut of sentiment ranging from rage,
overwhelming sadness, embarrassment, shame, anger, vengeance, depressions,
sorrow, a broken spirit and loss of hope course through her body. How could she ever forgive him? Where does
the healing begin? How does restoration
of the family start? Where does she begin her new life of hoping, believing and
not loosing her faith in which she stood firmly on helping others during their
own marital trials and struggles? How do
you get past the hurt? How do you forgive someone who has brought such pain,
suffering and grief to your heart?
We all know
the bible talks of forgiveness. Many women have preached, taught and encouraged
others to forgive, never really experiencing a devastating act where a decision
of their own has to be made. I can load
this chapter with Scriptures of forgiveness, loving those who hurt you,
blessing those who curse you; instead, I want to focus on your choices. Sister, you can read the bible and scriptures
until the cows come home, but if you do no have a willing heart to forgive,
they mean nothing. If you profess
forgiveness, put load the offender with unattainable demands, then you have not
truly forgiven. If you announce your
forgiveness, but hold the offense over the head of the offender continuously,
then you have not truly forgiven.
The decision to forgive begins with a heart
willing to submit to God. This submission
comes with the acknowledgement God forgives us daily. This submission begins with acknowledging a
heart set on humbling once self. This
submission brings forth what may be hidden in our own heart and a deeper
understand of what faith is. This
submission is a choice. This submission
is a determined breaking of self and will suffering alongside Christ who
experienced rejection, shame and separation from the Father as he hung on a
tree of our own sins. What is your
choice?
This choice
of forgiveness is going to take you down a hard road, the road less
traveled. You can experience anger like
you have never known. Anger toward your
husband, rage towards the people who knew and left you in the dark; anger for
the total lack of compassion and concern, the lovelessness and heartlessness of
your spouse’s selfish pleasure, caring less for those who are left in the wake
of devastation.
This choice
of forgives could take you down a vengeful, gravel road where there are plenty
of sturdy, hardy rocks to hurl towards the offender. The Lord could have called upon a legion of
angels, but humbly suffered for each of us.
The submission and humility that comes from the Lord acknowledges the
power each of us have to throw the first stone, but great strength arises from
Christ to admit the same stone could be hurled to each of us because of our own
hidden sin.
This choice
of forgiveness will take you down a dark road of shame, rejection,
embarrassment and humiliation. Questions
in sorrow spring from a broken heart, tearfully unable to speak, by mindfully
calling out to God, “Why did you allow this to happen?” “Was I not a good enough wife?” “Why did you stop him?” “How can I get through
this?” “Everyone knows and I am so embarrassed.” As sure as I am writing this,
having experienced this rejection and embarrassment, only the hand of God can
restore your heart, spirit and most importantly your mind. There is no amount of therapy, meditation,
mind alerting substances, medications or distractions that will take this pain
away, but only the love of Christ.
Finally,
this choice of forgiveness will take you down a paved road with several speed
bumps that will slow your step, remind you of your painful experience and
attempt to keep you in bondage. This is
when the choice to repeat scripture as Christ did in the wilderness should
erupt forth and quickly. It is
written….. has been spoken from my mouth many times. When the enemy attempts to remind you or you
hear of another situation of woman a experiencing the same heartache, memories
can play over in your mind. This is a
dangerous, yet delicate place to be.
You’ve made the choice to forgive, you have walked the road finally
seeing light at the end of the tunnel and then you’re smacked in the face with
a choice to dwell on the past or continue forward. Cross the speed bump, then accelerate back on
the road less traveled! Do not dwell where your mind wanders, remembers and
attempts to bring back painful memories. Press on toward the goal God has
placed in your heart to achieve.
When this
is over, the road to recovery is clearly been worth the struggles when God uses
this for his Kingdom. Genesis 4:17 reads, “Cain was building
a city, and he named it after his son Enoch.”
Build something great for the Lord from this travesty. Build on the foundation of Christ, the
cornerstone, the Rock and the Redeemer.
For when the storms come, the foundation will not crumble or be washed
away like the grains of sand of deception, but will stand firm on the faith in
Jesus Christ. What the enemy has tried
to destroy God will use for good! (Genesis
50:20). Let us lay your marriage,
your heart, the forgiveness needed and reward at the cross… Let CONFESS the
Word of the Living God;
Father,
My heart is
broken and I need healing. The pain
___________ has caused is embarrassing and so hurtful. I am angry, bitter and have no desire to
forgive. I know I am to confess the Word
when faced with a temptation as Christ in the wilderness, but right now I can
not. I know that I am to love. I know that I am to forgive and hold no
record of wrongs, but you will have to show me how. I am ashamed and embarrassed by
____________. Their actions seem to
replay in my mind continually.
With all
honesty and an open heart, Lord I ask you these questions, “Was I not good
enough?” “Did he/she not love me enough?” “Why is this happening to me?” “Am I
not praying enough?” “How do I forgive and let go of these memories?” Father,
help to sit with you, at your feet with no distractions at this time so the
healing can begin. Bring godly women in
to my life, a woman who has gone through what I am experiencing to glean
through during this process; women who will not judge me for my anger, sit with
me while I cry, quietly pray with me as I struggle to forgive and open my heart
again and patiently wait as I walk through challenging times.
Confessing
the Word has power and life, so as your Word springs forth from a willing spirit
let it heal the recesses of my broken heart, doubt, trust and shame. Lord, it is written, “So your word that goes
out from my mouth will not return empty, but will accomplish what you desire
and to achieve the purpose for which you’ve sent it.”(Isaiah 55:11). It is
written, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my
ways. As the heavens are higher than the
earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts
(Isaiah 55:8-9).
I
understand my battle is spiritual for is it written, “you were dead in your
transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways
of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now
at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one
time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires
and thoughts.” (Ephesians 2:1-3).
Help me to be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power for it is written,
“Put on the full armor of God so that you can take you stand against the
devil’s schemes” (Ephesians 6:11-12).
If I have
put my trust in man, forgive me Lord for it is written, “Jesus would not
entrust himself to them, for he knew all men.” (John 2:24). I know my
healing begins with the healing of my mind and heart for it is written, “Do not
conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the
renewing of my mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will
is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:2). Help me to
keep my eyes on things above for it is written, “..set your hearts on things
above where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not earthly
things.” (Colossians 3:2). It is written, “Therefore, prepare your minds
for actions, be self controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given
you when Jesus Christ is revealed (1
Peter 1:13).
I desire to
crave pure spiritual milk, so Father please, show me how to love and forgive as
you (1 Peter 2:1-3). It is written, “Love is patient, love is
kind. It does not envy, it does not
boast, it is not proud. It is not rude,
it is not self-seeking, it s not easily angered, it keeps no record of
wrongs. Love does not delight in evil,
but rejoices with the truth. It always
protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8). Show me how to love as Christ for it is
written, “to be clear minded and self-controlled so that we can pray, but above
all, love each other deeply because love covers a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8).
Lord,
thank you I can pray and talk with you openly.
Thank you I can worship and sing with my spirit if I don’t have the
words to pray. Thank you I can sit
quietly with you and just be. Thank you
Lord for listening, healing and showing me how to live this Christian life
through trials and struggles that I do not understand. In the name of Jesus of Nazareth I pray,
Amen!
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