On one’s wedding day, there is a
celebration. A celebration of two becoming one, families united to bless the
couple, food and drink spill forth with toasts, appreciation and adoration.
When the party is over, the couple lavishes themselves with a honeymoon and
months to years in lustful, loving romance. As time wanes on, the job, family,
married life, bills, expenses and challenges can become burdensome. That
lustful, loving romance, with bedroom laughter and pleasure is almost
non-existence, those sweet glances seem ages ago and those date nights once
filled with flowers, wine and tantalizing whispers are but an afterthought.
What has happened? Where did the joy, the love and the desire for one another
go? Where is your marriage heading?
“Now
Saul’s daughter Michal was in love with David, and when they told Saul about
it, he was pleased. ‘I will give her to him,’ he thought, ‘so that she may be a
snare to him and so that the hand of the Philistines may be against him.’”
David’s
opportunity to marry Michal came with a heavy price, one hundred Philistine’s
foreskins to revenge Saul’s enemies. David was thrilled to become the king’s
son-in-law, accepted the challenge and killed not one, but two hundred
Philistines (1 Samuel 18:20-30).
Michal
was enraptured with David. He was no ordinary man, this son of Jesse. He was a valiant warrior, fought to marry her
and carried in her heart the only man who defeated a giant. Yes, Michal was
captivated by his bravery, his warrior status, the love he had for her brother
Jonathon and his potential as king. Her father, Saul, was not so beguiled.
Saul despised
David attempting at every opportunity to kill the young soldier. Michal, learning of another scheme to kill
her handsome combatant, she warned him, “If you don’t run for you life tonight,
tomorrow you’ll be killed.” So Michal let David down through a window, and he
fled and escaped. Quick thinking and witted, Michal took an idol, laid it on
the bed, covered it with a garment and put some goats’ hair at the head. When
Saul’s men burst through to capture David, there they found only the idol (1 Samuel 19:1-16).
Days became
months, months into years all the while Michal maybe waited for her hearts
love. Alas, her father married her to a man named Paltiel. Paltiel was deeply
in love with Michal or was deeply in love with her status for when David
demanded her back, “Her husband went with her, weeping behind her all the way
to Bahurim (2 Samuel 3:16).
Reunited with
her long-lost love, Michal, maybe having been used as pawn, was not so
enchanted by her once young, gallant soldier. For when David brings the Lord’s
Ark of the Covenant back to Jerusalem, Michal looks on in embarrassment and
distain concerned more for how David looks, than to God’s achievement. Michal
is recorded in 2 Samuel 6:23 as having no children, no
lineage to the day of her death. How quickly and how sorrowfully marriages can
take a swift turn from joyous to treacherous by our own hands or by the hands
of the ones who led us down the isle of matrimony.
How long does it take to notice the marriage
is not what it used to be? Today’s youth, if not satisfied, will take quick
action to end a marriage regardless of the consequences or people involved. My
question is, how do we follow through with marriage, a love burning in our
hearts, to a bitter divorce waving the dagger menacingly towards one
another? Where and when did the love
grow cold?
Woman, it takes a will to protect your
marriage. All marriages ride the roller coaster of epiphany highs to theatrical
lows, while you may hang on for dear life. During these ups and downs, it is
what we as a couple do with these character enhancing situations as to whether
or not our marriage will last; built on the rock or built on the sand. My own
marriage has experienced these euphoric highs of births to monetary gain then
spiraling downwards to bankruptcies and the lustful advances of a “Gomer”.
These are the moments we should draw close to one another, not pull away.
I think part of the problem with the ever
declining desire to stay committed is our own contentment in life. Paul
exhorted the Philippians to learn contentment in whatever the situation experienced. Of course as Christians, our contentment
should come through Christ our King, not the highs and lows of earthly
pleasures, challenges and proposals. I think what Michal wanted to say in her
heart was, “Why did you leave me so long?” “Was I not worth waiting for or
coming back for?” “Why did you allow my father to give me to another man?” “Did
you not love me?” These are questions which may arise from a broken heart in
your own marriage, “Why would you do that?” “Why did you choose these things
over me?” “I am sorry; this is not the life I thought I would have.”
Michal never experienced the joy of contentment;
the joy of a loving marriage, for her father, Saul, would never allow such a
thing. I pray you have the encouragement of your own family towards your
spouse. The sand, or we could say the straw that may break the camel’s back,
which can wither away during rough weathering seasons could be from the very
hands that gave you away in holy matrimony. Woman, I encourage you to never
demean, disrespect or gossip about your husband. This will end a marriage very
quickly for the longer you talk, the more you may agree with yourself or the
person slandering the man of your house.
We have to pray about our marriages. My desire
is to always have the love in my heart for Tommy. Of course, they love is
different today than it was fifteen years ago. My lustful, loving romance love
can not compare to the love of being parents together, can not compare to the
love that lifted each other out of a muddy pit after financial loss and can not
compare to the encouraging love my husband gives as I write our testimony of
God’s saving grace. The love is there, it has just changed and enhanced over
the years.
Please, do not
give up so easy on the one you’ve spent years with; press on towards the goal
God has placed in your heart. Lay your husband at the cross; be his helper, his
armor bearer, the one God has placed in your life to love and respect. If you feel the Lord leading your marriage
for counseling, pray who to see and let the Lord move you. Ask God to give you
fresh eyes to see your husband in a new light.
Ask the Lord for eyes to see him as Christ sees him. Ask the Lord for the romance you had when you
first enjoyed one another, to show you what you can do to enhance the marriage
so it never grows cold. Work on what you can do and God will do the rest. May
the Lord bless your marriage, may it be fulfilling, joyful, loving and grow
each passing year
Let us pray out loud and CONFESS the Word of the Living God
a prayer to be your
husband’s armor bearer
Abba Father,
I come to you as
your daughter; bend your ear and listen to my prayer. May it glorify Jesus
Christ, enhance your Kingdom and strengthen my marriage. I know you have a plan
for our marriage. I know it is to prosper and not fail; to grow and not wither,
to strengthen and not weaken. I pray to be this godly Christian wife you’ve
called me to be. I have been given the gift of being a helper to my husband (Genesis 2:18). I thank you for this
precious calling on my life; help me to cherish our marriage with great
respect, never to take it for granted and strengthen our bond year after
year.
Father,
I want to be a godly woman who desires the things of you (2 Timothy 2:22). I pray you
keep my eyes on things above and not below, Christ seated at the right hand of
the Father (Colossians 3:2). I pray to put off my old self and ways,
asking you to help mold and shape me to fit this season of my life, renewing my
mind daily (Romans 12:1-2). Whether I was taught the ways of the Lord or
have just come to the faith as a new believer, I pray I learn to be a
respectful, helpful, encouraging, loving wife, taking me into a deeper
revelation of my purpose (Ephesians 5:33).
I understand the spiritual warfare against Christian marriages, may I be a wife
who continually prepares her husband for battle with the armor of the Lord (Ephesians 6:12).
Lord,
fill my life with godly women, elders to glean from, groups to pray with and
other women who will encourage and lift us up in prayer (Philippians 3:16-17). When
the tests and trials of marriage come, I pray to lay them at the foot of your
cross, pleading your precious blood of our marriage. May you guard my mouth
lest I sin against you (Psalm 19:14);
and when the time comes to bring a sensitive issue to light with
_________________ (husband) may I pray about it at least three days (Esther 4:16), seek the advise and
counsel of seasoned elders and have your peace of knowing I am being
respectful, loving, gentle and filled with the fruit of the spirit (Galatians 5:22-23).
I
pray to read your Word daily (Psalm
1:1-3). May I be a woman with a deep understand of the things of God, the
plan for my life, adaptable to all situation with my husband, helping him where
needed and encouraging him during his walk (Ephesians 3:12-14). If I
have yoked myself to a non believer or God, you have changed my life first
before _______________ (husband) then I pray for the strength to stay
committed, loving him and trusting you to change him in your perfect will and
timing (1 Corinthians 7:13-14). I
pray my behavior, in which is being molded into your image, glorify you, find
favor in your eyes, and soften my husband’s heart to see your goodness (1 Peter 3). I pray that no matter how
long, the prayer life I commit to will never waiver, increase with my
perseverance, determination to run this race, to not quit on
________________(husband) (2 Peter 1:5-8)
and to know that all things work together for good for those who love God and
are called according to your purpose (Romans
8:28).
I pray our marriage never grow boring, dull or
conform to the ways of this world (Hebrews
13:4-5). I pray ___________
(husband) and I are sensitive to each other’s needs, never withholding
ourselves from one another sexually, never manipulated each other into
undesirable tasks, but challenging ourselves to come up higher, giving God an
open door to all areas of our marriage (1
Corinthians 7:5). I pray to never gossip, slander, and demean my husband;
not to covet or desire another woman’s husband. May I be a woman who can be
self controlled in her mind and body, turning off the lure of pornography,
lustfulness, or longing for another man instead of my (husband) ______________(1 Corinthians 6:12-20). I know you have
brought Christian’s to a high standard when Christ said, “I tell
you that anyone who looks at another woman (man) lustfully has already
committed adultery with her (him) in his heart.”(Matthew 5:28). I pray to stay committed to the Lord in my
inner most being, striving to never break your commandments of adulterous
thoughts, committed to this man and the marriage you have planned for me (Exodus 20:14).
Father I thank
you and give you all praise. Thank you I am redeemed under the Blood of the
Lamb and we can have a marriage that is godly, pure and holy. In the name of
Jesus of Nazareth I pray, amen.